What did you accomplish this year?
This year I kept things secret and sacred instead of talking and not actually doing the work.
This year I came out as transgender to my extended family, which was terrifying but necessary.
I only wrote one song this year. My head was constantly swimming with ideas, but all in all, I only made one song. The weird thing is, I’m ok with that. That one was ready, I guess.
This year my band released its second full-length album, which I really gave myself to. It required overcoming a fear that the project wouldn’t connect with our audience, and making it anyway, because I knew it was important to my soul for it to exist.
As a creative person with no formal art education, I have tried many things, gone down many paths, and attempted several projects—but I could never stick with a single one. This year I managed to focus just on one medium and consistently work at my craft.
This year I made a lot of valuable connections and had a lot of formative experiences, by impulsively taking some wild opportunities. I didn’t let being alone terrify me, but rather let it help me achieve things without relying on other people for support and validation.
This year I lost my job of 17 years, and started bar-backing at 43. I’ve finished albums with two different bands, as well as refined my approach to playing solo. I quit drinking in March at the urging of my girlfriend, breaking free of a habit that was causing a huge amount of damage to both myself and to those around me.
The year’s “real work” was trying to let go of accomplishment expectations on the whole. I didn’t finish my album—I hardly finished any songs at all. But the work that was done may be more valuable than finished products: a clearer vision, some works-in-progress that feel unlike anything else before them, and a gentler approach to living in general…
This year I accomplished shockingly little. Maybe less than any other year in my life. Certainly less creative work, and less work I could call “my own”. I did get my first-ever taste of managing other people, which was very hard and enlightening. But my main failure of the year is a failure to systematically make room for the side projects that, in the long run, will keep me sane and connected to people.
This year I took an unintended sabbatical from creative projects as I focused on getting my mental health back on track. Ultimately, I accomplished making the changes I felt I needed to make in order to move forward. I moved across the country twice. I started going to therapy regularly. I finally started a writing practice—something I pushed off for years of my life even though I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I discovered a lot about myself, both good and bad, that I didn’t know was there.
