Is there anything holding you back?
My “real” job.
My fear of critique, and of being vulnerable or banal.
The doubt that anyone wants to hear what I need to say.
Time restraints. Also, mental blocks—which I’m sure stem from insecurities and fatigue.
The weight of knowing that my own music will always feel inferior to that of my inspirations.
Fear, mostly. I’d like to be aloof about what other people think, but that doesn’t always work out.
Impatience. If I start something new, I want to be finished within that same day. I don’t know how to iterate.
Self consciousness, and not wanting to be annoying. Also, feeling like my voice and opinion aren’t valid.
Myself. I always tell myself I’ll “do this tomorrow,” or “I’ll finish when we’re done doing this thing.”
The main thing holding me back is my own lack of confidence. Going deep into research can be great, but it can also create a never-ending loop.
Sometimes I fear that my work isn’t building toward anything meaningful beyond its sheer existence, or that the band could break up in the future and I’ll have to start over. But deep down I know these fears—while real—are ultimately just distractions.
I have this idea that capitalism is robbing me of all of my time. I want to blame a system and use it as a crutch, but I know that lots of other people are making time for creative work. When I come home at the end of the day, I hate having to decide between rest from work or creative work.
Largely myself. More and more I’m realizing the countless ways I hold myself back, whether it’s through negative thought patterns, fear of failing, or my obsession with perfection. There are many layers to it. I’m working on peeling those layers back and allowing myself to move forward, to not overthink, to squash the fear, to care less about the outcome and more about the process and letting things unfold.
